Sunday, May 25, 2014

Lying Lester's Mother Told Him: You've Got to Shop Around

When Lying Lester was just a lad of 17 (in 1971), his mother told him he had to shop around. Just like in the 1960 song performed by the Negro singing group The Miracles - Lying Lester's mother gave her grown son advice about how to find a woman worthy of being a girlfriend or wife.

Seems that mom recognized that her prized precocious child was now a Man, and an extremely masculine Man at that. Dear old mom cautioned young Lester against accepting just any woman as a girlfriend or wife. No, an ordinary female would not do. She needed to be a 10 in the looks department with at least a B cup.

And, not only only did she need to have supermodel looks, but she needed a brain to match. Now, mom strongly cautioned Lester from hooking up with a woman who was smarter than him (as unlikely a possibility that may have been), but neither would her son be satisfied with a dolt, as Lying Lester has little patience for idiots - or even those with an average intelligence.

Of course it goes without saying that the future Mrs. Nation would also need to be good in bed and willing to do ANYTHING to please her mate. And, while, given the impressiveness of Lester's manhood, ANY woman would want to get with him... still, not just any woman would do. Lester's mother, being his mother, had seen his equipment and knew just how impressive it was. Even though the last time she had seen it was when he was a small child (you perverts).

So Lying Lester did not have any problem bedding hot women who were 10s in terms of appearance (nor does he today). But intellectually they were always lacking, and, after Lester had his way with them, he kicked them to the curb.

Eventually Lying Lester came to the realization that he should never marry, given his level of success and super manliness, he never could trust that a woman was not just interested in him for his body or his money.

That was, until I met HER. Lying Lester married her, had a son with her (that he named after himself, of course) and then divorced. Lying Lester really did try to make it work, but I should have realized that such an endeavor was doomed to fail.

And, wisely, Lying Lester did have his wife-to-be (at the time) sign a prenup, so Lying Lester wasn't on the hook for alimony or any splitting of assets (which were kept separate). Although I did willingly contribute something to the raising of my son. A thing I did happily.

Why? Because it was always a dream of mine to have a son to carry on the family name. Fortunately the junior Lester turned out to be a winner just like his dad. If not I'd have had to kick him to the curb, disown him, and try again.

Now that Lying Lester is a (divorced) free man, he can have sexual relations with as many women as he pleases. In a prior post I said I might go to the rEpublican national convention and hire some hookers, but that was a joke.

Usually, when I see a beautiful woman that I'd like to sex up, I simply point at her and say "you". Then we go back to her place and bone. And I leave as soon as we're finished... without telling her my name or where I live, I might add. And the woman (usually) never complains; realizing that one night with me is far more than she deserves.

Yes, there have been women who have begged for Lying Lester to lay them down and make sweet, amazing love to them for a second time, but Lying Lester usually refuses. Those are the ones he leaves crying (not that I feel the least bit guilty, mind you).

And this is the same advice that I've given my son, the fourth Lester in a line of super-intelligent manly Men. Shop around. Spread your seed, but use protection. And, when it comes time to propagate the family line, marry the woman (Nations do NOT father bastards). But be sure to get her to sign a prenup.

BTW, Lying Lester's mom never told him there was some things that he did not understand. Mom knew her son understood it all. Also, when I said that I refuse a woman who requests another boning, I meant on another day. In one session Lying Lester has boned the same woman dozens of times. Or the same womEn, depending on how many partners I've agreed to satisfy at once.

Byline: This Manly commentary was authored by Lord Lying Lester: Man of Reason (AKA Lester Nation). Purveyor of Manliness. LLIN-069.

2 comments:

  1. News Flash! for the amazing (O)CT(O)PUS, SHAW, and ALL OF THE OTHER "GUN-CONTROL FREEKS! Mass murder IS NOT only about gun control. The Media needs to stop romanticizing these narcissistic freaks and treat them as societal infestations that need to be contained and eliminated. This latest case in Santa Barbara was about a sick young man who watched too much of the drivel pumped out on TV and in the Movies. and began to believe it.

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  2. To Kenosha Marge: Not that this post (the one you are commenting on) has anything (at all) to do with gun control, but Lying Lester (for the record) is strongly opposed to it. Lying Lester believes that once someone passes a background check, he or she should be able to buy as many guns as they want.

    Although, upon further reflection Lying Lester thinks that might not be enough to keep guns out of the hands of the stupid. The solution? Lying Lester isn't sure, but thinks that maybe how many guns a person is allowed to own could be somehow tied to IQ?

    If such a system were put into place Lying Lester could own as many guns as he pleased, while people like Kenosha Marge couldn't buy even one. Likely she (if it were possible) would be able to own a Negative number of guns.

    Also for the record, none of the people your message is intended for read this forum. They will never read - or even be aware - of what you wrote.

    ReplyDelete

Piss off.

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