Will Our Next President Be Gary Johnson?

So, here we are, actually on the verge of having to watch two of the most low-ball jamming and distrusted politicians in the country (Clinton and Trump) defecate on each other for the next five months in what is bound to be one of the most rancid presidential races in U.S. history?!

More and more I'm beginning to think that this existence thing of ours isn't actual but rather some virtual reality, hologram, dream, or video game. 'Cause I ask you here, what sane and cogent civilization would act like this? IT MAKES NO SENSE. Maybe we're participants in a game being played by the super-intelligent AI robots?

And, yes, I'm begging you, at least consider throwing away your vote on Gary Johnson, whose honesty, integrity, competence, sanity, and dedication to our beloved oligarchs we cannot question (at least not to this ludicrous level).

So, while I previously said that Johnson would probably have to kill somebody for me to not vote for him again, now I'm thinking that I'd vote for Johnson even if he out and out murdered someone. Heck, I'd still vote for Johnson even if we were to find out that he was a serial killer who pranced about in the nude wearing nothing but his victim's skin (in the privacy of his own home).

One thing I would not do, however, would be to write in the name "Les Carpenter" (AKA Lester Nation, the former proprietor of this blog). That guy is an asshole.

BTW, if Donald Trump were to be wise enough to select Gary Johnson as his VP, I'd vote for Donald in a heartbeat. Although I think Gary might say no if Donald asked him. However, IMO, Donald Trump might not be that bad. Also, at the end of Trump's 8 years in office Gary could run and win as POTUS (given the fact that a VP going on to become president isn't unprecedented).

On the other hand, the nation might just decide that neither Trump nor Clinton are fit for the presidency and decide to send Gary Johnson (a high-ball jammer) to the White House! Causing me (as well as others who worship the plutocrats) to jump for joy! Unfortunately, that seems unlikely, what with Miss Clinton going after the Bernie voters by offering to give away boatloads of other people's money. Not quite as much as Comrade Sanders wanted to give away, but still a LOT.

So, will Gary Johnson be our next president? Maybe not. A factor that might help Gary clinch the presidency could be the selection of the right person as his VP. Now, the former proprietor of this blog often suggested that he might be a good VP pick for Johnson. But given the fact that he went from being an anarcho-capitalist Libertarian who worshiped Ayn Rand and who thoroughly despised the Progressive Left to somebody who essentially signs off on every cockamamie Leftist notion under the damned sun? I'm thinking that I would be a MUCH better choice.

Surely Gary Johnson is smart enough to select Willis Hart as his VP. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised in the least if Gary reads this blog and takes pointers from it. And, a Johnson-Hart ticket would almost be a shoe-in, I think. Except for the fact that the voters are quite dumb. I mean, Bernie Sanders almost defeated Hillary Clinton for the Democratic nomination, and he's a Socialist for Christ!

Byline: This commentary was authored by Willis "I Love Strawmen" Hart. Purveyor of unfacts. LLIN-238.

Message To Bernie Sanders: I Hate Your Mother-Fucking Socialist Guts!

Does Bernie Sanders read this blog? I doubt it. If he does, however, I'd like to take this opportunity to let him know that I hate his mother-fucking Socialist guts with the intensity of the sun going supernova, expanding and engulfing our planet, burning the universe and vaporizing the earth!! (an explosion that would be roughly the equivalent of a few octillion nuclear warheads going off).

Frankly, I doubt I've ever felt this intensely regarding any human being who has ever lived. Which means that I hate Bernie more than I hate Abraham Lincoln, the most evil man who ever lived (right up there with Stalin and Mao).

The problem with Sanders isn't that he's evil (which he is) but that he's incredibly stupid. He's so stupid that he belongs in a group home for the mentally impaired. A place where the minders need to wipe the drool from the chins of the mouth-breathers.

My hatred for Sanders is also significantly stronger than any love I've ever felt for any human being as well. Although, as a Libertarian I can honestly say that there has never been anyone I've felt has earned my love, so that's a low bar that really isn't worth mentioning.

Yes, regarding Sanders I previously said "the American Eagle needs BOTH of its wings to fly", but I've changed my mind bigley on this. I still believe that the eagle needs two wings, but now I'm more convinced than ever that Sanders is simply too far Left. The dude is a fucking Socialist, for christ!

Now? I'm thinking that one of the eagle wings should be Right-wing and the other should be centrist. Honestly, I don't know what the fuck was going through my mind when I wrote that, given the fact that only the dumbest people on the plant subscribe to Socialist idiocy.

Which is why the idea of Bernie Sanders as president scares me shitless. Because he'd likely start rounding up the rich folks who voice (justified) anger regarding his massive tax hikes. And shoot a few of them in the head to make examples of them.

If I'm completely honest, I think that if Sanders were elected president, I'd seriously consider moving out of the country. Because Sanders (according to his own rhetoric) would do his damndest to utterly destroy our democratic republic. And for that, yes, I absolutely hate his fucking guts. The asshole should have defected to the USSR when he traveled there for his honeymoon!

Byline: This outraged commentary was authored by Willis "I Love Strawmen" Hart. Purveyor of unfacts. LLIN-237.

On Why I Can't Vote For Donald (Although He May Be Our Next President, Which Wouldn't Be So Bad IMO)

Yes, I considered voting for Mr. Trump, but (ultimately) I decided to stick to my original plan of throwing my vote away by casting my ballot for the Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson. You know, the dude who receives less than 1 percent of the popular vote every single time he's run previously (and zippo electoral votes). Meaning he has absolutely no chance of being elected president.

As for me not voting for Donald, there are two main reasons. A) He's a protectionist/nativist who's obviously never read a single page of Bastiat (mustn't have been on the reading-list at Wharton) and B) the fellow doesn't have the temperament to spearhead the world's largest military or to even be a respectable actor on the world's stage (and in a world that's already filled to the brim with clowns like Merkel, Cameron, Netanyahu, Putin, etc., that's saying quite a bit).

Although he is smart enough to suggest that we should be letting Putin take the lead in Syria. When your enemies are slaughtering each other, I say let them. Not that Mrs. Clinton's all that appreciably better, mind you, but, yeah, if you held a gun to my head, I probably have to pick her. For the comedy factor, I'm saying. Because she's going to be arrested shortly, then tried, convicted and sent to prison. For having her own/private email server and sending classified info via that system.

Although, if the Democratic primary voters select someone (before the voting in November) who is convicted of felonies... well, it should be a cakewalk for the Republican nominee to secure the presidency in such a situation. So we might very well end up with a president Donald J. Trump. And, if you held a gun to my head a 2nd time? I might say that sending Donald to the White House wouldn't be that terrible an outcome.

Byline: This insightful commentary was authored by Willis "I Love Strawmen" Hart. Purveyor of unfacts. LLIN-227.

George Clooney Is A Leftist Piece Of Shit!

Apparently it takes $33,000 to meet Hillary Clinton and George Clooney these days. Yeah, that's about $32,999.99 more than I'd be willing to dish out. On a generous day.

I guess George doesn't know that Hillary is heading to the slammer very soon. Because if he did he might think about backing another candidate other than the lying bitch. Jim Webb would have been who I'd have gone with if I were a Democrat. Heck, even as a Libertarian I think I'd have at least considered voting for him over Johnson (given the fact that Johnson has ZERO chance of be selected as our next POTUS).

I mean, of all the Democrats that started out seeking the nomination, all but Jim Web reduced themselves to that level of pandering was sad, nauseating, and disturbing. Flat out. Jim Webb is a war hero, as well as an awesome stud of unquestioned integrity who's accomplished things in both the public AND private sector and who's done so in a consistently bipartisan manner. And, for the record, his being forced to share a debate-stage with four extremely mediocre and hackneyed-ladened surface-thinkers who couldn't come up with an original idea at gunpoint was an outrage! That's how I saw it, folks.

Webb not being selected by the voters by overwhelming margins shows how stupid the electorate has become. Hell yes, this constitutes a loss for the American people, who, instead are voting for either the soon-to-be-convicted lying piece of shit bitch or the Communist USSR-honeymooning economically illiterate boob. But I think both parties' candidates are quite horrible this cycle. Except for Donald Trump. He, IMO, isn't half as bad as the media is making him out to be.

BTW, all the ladies swoon over George Clooney, but IMO Jim Webb is a lot manlier/handsome (hence my previous reference to him as a "stud"). It just amazes me the way that people go crazy whenever George Clooney stars in a movie. And, yes, folks, when I say it amazes me, I mean it COMPLETELY amazes me.

So, no, I'm not really a fan of his acting, although I might concede that he's serviceable in his better parts. But he really needs to stay out of political matters. Unless he had come out for Jim Webb. Then I'd be heaping praise on his acting abilities and good judgement. But HRC? What a frigging self aggrandizing ass horse's ass - as well as a God damned idiot/stooge this Clooney fellow is.

I hate the regressive Left so much, I'd like to punch Clooney in the nose while wearing brass knuckles, then continue punching him until I beat his face to a bloody pulp!

Byline: This insiteful commentary was authored by Willis "I Love Strawmen" Hart. Purveyor of unfacts. LLIN-225.

On The Fact That Donald Trump (Or Whoever The Republicans Nominate) Will Likely Be Our Next President (And Hillary Clinton Will Get Prison Time)

Have you heard that Hillary Clinton's lead over Bernie Sanders in New York seems to be shrinking? It's obviously not good news for Mrs. Clinton but if I was her I'd probably be a shitload more concerned about the Justice Department and FBI primaries than the New York one. Because if Miss Hillary loses those two everything else is purely academic.

And I absolutely believe she will. Be indicted and sent up the river, that is. Or I pray she is. I mean, how awesome would that be? Finally, an end to Miss Hillary's life of crime. It's about time, I say. Unfortunately she'll likely only get a few years, instead of the rest of her life. Which she should receive, given the many decades of criminal activity she's been involved in.

Some people say she murdered Vince Foster. Now, I don't know if there is anything to that charge, but I absolutely do think she's guilty of enough other crimes that she should be locked up and the key should be thrown away. Although, yeah, I surely do believe she's capable of murder.

By the way, that means that Comrade Sanders will likely be the Democratic nominee. And be crushed by whoever the Republicans nominate. Which, given the fact that he's won the most votes, should be Donald Trump. But there might be a "brokered convention" and the nomination might be stolen from Mr. Trump. I just hope the nominee isn't Ted Cruz. I'd be content with Trump or Kasich.

Not that I'd vote for either of these guys (I'm a Johnson man). But any Republican would be better than the pantsuit-wearing piece of shit bitch Hillary or the economically illiterate mouth-breathing moron Sanders. We're talking a "lesser of two evils" situation. But Trump or Kasich (not Cruz) would be significantly the lesser of two evils, of that I am 99.9 percent convinced.

But back to Miss Hillary... how many years behind bars do you think she'll get? I hear that Petraeus got 2 years of probation and a 100k fine. Given the fact that what Miss Hillary did was 100 times worse, I says she should get 100 years in prison and a 10 million dollar fine.

Byline: This 100 percent accurate commentary was authored by Willis "I Love Strawmen" Hart. Purveyor of unfacts. LLIN-221.

Bernie Sanders Is An Insane Lunatic Who Will Destroy Our Republic If Elected!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Firstly, the number of exclamation points I used in the title of post? They are TOTALLY warranted! The reason? Lately I've been thinking that Mrs. Clinton HAS to know that Bernie Sanders is monumentally full of shit and a total lunatic but because the Democratic primary voters are just as outside the mainstream as those on the Republican side she's afraid to bitch-slap him and has even tried to match his Leftist pandering at times!!

I mean, we all know that Hillary Clinton is actually a Moderate to Conservative Democrat and Comrade Sanders is a fucking Socialist, who if elected president, could destroy our Republic! This is exactly why democracies have a penchant to devour themselves (the fact that people when given the choice will almost always vote for those who promise them the most while making others pay for it) and why the Founding Fathers created a Republic instead.

Hopefully we still have enough checks and balances to ward off a total collectivist coup and right out fiscal ship. 'Cause if we don't, watch out. You can be sure that a president Sanders will try his damndest to make our beloved wealthy Makers pay "their fair share". What a fucking asshole. This drooling maniac should be straight-jacketed and locked up in a mental institution. Instead he's running for president? Unbelievable!

Yeah, that's why I'm 100 percent convinced that Donald Trump might not be that bad of a president. Although I'll be voting for Gary Johnson I realize he has no chance of actually getting elected. So Trump getting in might be the best we can hope for. Especially if Bernie Sanders clinches the nomination, Ayn Rand forbid!

Even if it's getting less and less likely... and more and more likely that Hillary will be the nominee (unless she's indicted, convicted, and sent up the river). Yeah, I really think that's a distinct possibility. And then what? A Trump versus Sanders race. Which means that Sanders could actually win! Hopefully we still have enough checks and balances to ward off a total collectivist coup and right out fiscal ship. 'Cause if we don't, watch out.

I might move to Hong Kong.

Byline: This insightful commentary was authored by Willis "I Love Strawmen" Hart. Purveyor of unfacts. LLIN-216.

On The Fact That Political Hacks Bernie Sanders, Barney Frank & Elizabeth Warren Want To Steal Your Property

I heard that Bernie Sanders, Barney Frank, and Elizabeth Warren got together and decided that they fully supported thievery via government by the way of civil asset forfeiture and property seizure by way of eminent domain. Not surprising in that if you look at the fine-print of their progressive mission-statement it reads, "except when the oppressor is the state".

A lot of people don't realize it but the IRS can confiscate your life-savings and they don't even have to charge you with a crime first. It's called civil forfeiture and, while its initial purpose was mostly to target drug-dealers, it has quite literally made criminals of small business owners whose only sin is the fact that they don't take credit cards and make small deposits in cash (restructuring, its called; the IRS evidently seeing cash dealings as intrinsically suspicious).

Of course, the really scary thing in all of these scenarios is that a) the plaintiff (i.e. victim) is never innocent until proven guilty but guilty until proven innocent and b) if it wasn't for groups like the Institute for Justice (a LIBERTARIAN outfit - the progressives sitting it out again) most of us wouldn't even know about this shit. The government as a powerful force for good? Yeah, right.

By the way, I totally lied when I said that Bernie Sanders fully supports thievery by way of civil asset forfeiture. What he actually said is "that he will fight civil forfeiture, and that it's a big issue which basically punishes the poor".

Punishing the poor? I'm actually in favor of it. Although I'm for "punishing" them by taking away the free stuff. Bernie Sanders wants to give the freeloaders a LOT more free goodies! Anyway, as Bernie himself said, "he's learning more about it". Right. Sounds like a totally bullshit excuse to me. He's been in Congress for decades and now he's only catching up now? I doubt he'll do a damn thing, except perhaps vote to continue seizing the assets of small business owners (who he hates). What a fucking asshole!

Proof of Bernie's hatred is the fact that he wants to force small business owners to overpay low-wage workers and thus drive them out of business. The truth is that there is no limit to the number of taxes that Bernie Sanders wants to increase and there is no limit to the amount of new government he wants to create. Personally, I don't think that's where the American people want government to go. They're tired of these big-government solutions.

Libertarians, on the other hand? They believe in empowering people so that they can pursue their own American dream. Which bodes well for the Gary Johnson candidacy, I think. Perhaps the American people will wise up and elect this awesome Libertarian their next president? Sadly, this probably won't happen. Due to the fact that there are too many lazy freeloaders voting. Some Whites. But also (in HIGHER percentages) lazy Blacks (who are also VERY violent, but I digress).

I commend the GOP for its vote suppression tactics, but (unless they REALLY ramp up the voter suppression), it might not be enough. And, even if it is, it won't work in Gary Johnson's favor. Goddamn it!

Byline: This factual commentary was authored by Willis "I Love Strawmen" Hart. Purveyor of unfacts. LLIN-215.

Cruz and Rubio Should Stop Repeatedly Blasting Trump for Not Releasing His Tax Forms!

It's outrageous because Trump is being audited and no reputable tax attorney would ever recommend that a person being audited release his or her records to the public. Also, it is true that Cruz and Rubio have both released their 1040 forms, neither has released their Schedule C form and that is clearly what has the juicier info.

I mean, you do want the total picture here, right - and preferably from someone who doesn't have a dog in the fight, like me, Willis Hart? I mean, I'm for Gary Johnson (even though his chances are zero). But you can absolutely trust my objectivity on this.

Sure, if I wasn't voting for Gary Johnson I might vote for Trump and I hate both Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders with the heat of a thousand white-hot suns, but otherwise I'm the most objective dude on the plant.

Anyway, as you recall Mitt Romney followed the precedent set by John McCain by releasing two years of tax returns. Although McCain, the 2008 GOP nominee, bucked the trend of other recent presidential candidates. In more than three decades, no other nominees for either party have released fewer than five years' worth of returns, and Romney's own father released a dozen years’ worth when he ran for the GOP nomination in 1968 (source).

But now maybe Trump is setting a new precedent, in that he'll release zero years of tax returns? I hope so, because a man's tax returns are really nobody else's business. My respect for Mr. Trump would go up by a notch or two if he stood up to this precedent of tax return releasing. If only he'd refudiate eminent domain, I might actually consider voting for him.

Byline: This objective commentary was authored by Willis "I Love Strawmen" Hart, purveyor of unfacts. LLIN-213.

Bernie Sanders Is Functionally Retarded

Yes, folks, this is sad but true. The dimwit should be living in some group home for mentally challenged persons. As opposed to being a senator running for Congress. And what are the odds of that dullard and Leftist lapdog John Oliver ever doing a 22 minute diatribe on the danger of a Sanders presidency (as he did against Trump)? Zero is probably low-balling it in that this ass is a total partisan hack who only denigrates Republicans (not that the clapping seals are complaining, mind you). I could be wrong but I doubt it.

It isn't like I've seen any educational transcripts or test results that show Sanders is retarded, by the way. But the fact that he doesn't comb his hair is enough physical proof I think. I'm surprised the guy doesn't need a minder to wipe the drool from his chin, for Christ!

Don't think I've forgotten the non-physical proof, BTW. Which would be the fact that he's an economically illiterate socialist for Christ, in that he doesn't subscribe to Libertarian/Austrian economics. And he wants to hold guns to the heads of successful people in order to confiscate their property, which makes my blood boil! Sure, a law raising taxes would be enough to get the job done, but Sanders STILL wants to threaten people with guns!

Proof this maniac should be unacceptable to Liberals. Yeah, he's got like a D- from the NRA, but he really wants to shoot some rich people in the head if they don't want to pay. To make an example of them, I'm guessing. So who is the REAL fascist? Yeah, if my choices were Sanders or Trump, I'd take Trump.

As for John Oliver? I say we deport his ass back to England. And a president Trump might just do that. Even though Oliver is White. Or he might sue him. Remember Trump said he wanted to change the libel laws so that he could sue and get a lot of money? Sure, that would be a violation of the first amendment, I think. But I'd still laugh my ass off if the liberal buffoon Oliver lost his shirt after being sued by president Trump!

Byline: This commentary was authored by Willis "I Love Strawmen" Hart. Purveyor of unfacts. LLIN-211.

Liberal Regressive Buffoons Can't Stop Bashing Donald Trump (And They Refuse To Point Out How Awesome Gary Johnson Is)

Leftist Jew buffoon Carl Bernstein recently referred to Donald Trump as a "Neo Fascist". Yeah. I just wish that these partisan media hacks would show at least a semblance of consistency. Like, I don't know, maybe also pointing out that Senator Sheldon Whitehouse apparently wants to prosecute global warming skeptics, that a large percentage of public colleges and universities are essentially outlawing freedom of speech, that conservative speakers are routinely shouted down at numerous campuses throughout the country.

That Senator Sanders (another Jew) has literally zero regard for the non-aggression principle and wants to hold a gun to our head and confiscate private property. Frankly it sickens me that so many of these Leftist fascists want to fuck rich Makers up the ass (figuratively) so they can give away more free stuff!

OUTRAGEOUS! Also outrageous? President Obama has used executive orders to make and change laws and to do so in a blatantly political way. And, for the record, it was wrong when Bush did it too. Clearly the Liberal media has no concept of fair. But would that be too much to ask? I mean, why the hell aren't they pointing out how awesome Gary Johnson is? Because they're either Liberal buffoons or Neo-Cons (emphasis on the "con").

However, truth be told, Fox (even though it gives Neo-Cons a platform) is not as bad as MSNBC. Sure, they're both biased, no question about it. But over the past several years, Fox has added Ed Henry, John Roberts, Howie Kurtz, and Maria Bartiromo (hell, they've even added Dennis Kucinich and the ragin' Cajun, James Carville).

Compare that to MSNBC which has done little more than plop additional leftist guttersnipes to its already full-to-the-brim posse of skin-crawlers/stooges. It isn't even a contest at this point, folks. MSNBC is significantly worse.

And MSNBC practically bashes Trump 24-7. That's when they're not airing "Lock Up" reruns. Pathetic. How about some air time for the awesome Gary Johnson, for Christ? This is the man who should be our next president, IMO. Not Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton! But the American electorate is as stupid as a Dunkin Donuts employee who apparently has an inability to process the phrase, "lightly toasted" (yeah, one of those motherfuckers messed up my order). I suppose that Bernie wants to pay these folks $15 an hour, too!

Byline: This commentary was authored by Willis "I Love Strawmen" Hart. Purveyor of unfacts. LLIN-208.

Does That Fucker Bernie Sanders Think He's A Wizard?

Did you know that Bernie Sanders has a "plan" to take $5k from middle-class taxpayers and use powerful magics to turn it into $10k worth of health insurance coverage? Yeah, it's ludicrous and I think he might be a senile old man who has watched the Lord Of The Rings movies too many times and thinks he's a Gandalf-like wizard. How many times did he roll his 20-sided die when devising his healthcare plan, I wonder?

Yet there are some informed voters out there who buy it. Voters who know that all the OECD countries (including the ones that are classified as low-income) have some kind of health care for all. And they also know that health care costs in those countries are much lower than here in the US (US per capita spending for healthcare is $4,631, compared with an OECD median of $1,983).

However, as a Libertarian I believe that it was government interference that created this whole mess of out-of-control healthcare costs; the wage-controls of the 1940s which created the incentive for employers to offer health insurance to their employees as a substitute for raises (an act that really got the ball rolling on this whole idiotic third-party payer bullshit).

Sure, even if any of that is true there is nothing we can do about it now. Misinformed morons such as myself can continue to dream the Libertarian fantasy in which the (imaginary) "free market" drives prices down so low that upper middle class and wealthy folks can afford to pay for their health care needs out of pocket (those in lower classes can drop dead for all I care).

Meanwhile, more rational folks (those people residing in the REAL world) realize that following the lead of all the other OECD countries (who have PROVEN this can be done) is the way to go. ALthough I am NOT such a person, so excuse me if I dismiss out-of-hand this inarticulate socialist buffoon who thinks that HIS intervention is going to rectify things. Trust me, it won't. By which I mean it COULD. But going to a not-for-profit system will devastate the profits of Big Health Care.

However, in the opinion of someone who loves our wealthy overlords, doing health care for NO PROFIT (for christ!) is quite stupid. Do we really want to live in a world where a select few can't get uber-wealthy at the expense of a large number of losers (who must die for this to occur)? I know I sure as hell don't!

Byline: This commentary was authored by Willis "I Love Strawmen" Hart. Purveyor of Libertarian magic. LLIN-200.

FDR corksucker censored version

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