How Prevalent Is The Zoophilia Perversion Among Conservatives?

With this commentary Lying Lester asks, how prevalent is the zoophilia perversion among Conservatives? According to Wikipeida zoophilia "is a paraphilia involving cross-species sexual activity between human and nonhuman animals or a fixation on such practice".

Now, Lying Lester would have guessed that this perversion was more common among lIberal/pRogressives, as they are always going on about "saving the planet" and "animal rights" (two issues Lying Lester has zero concern/interest in), but, oddly enough, it is only Conservatives that I've ever witnessed leaving comments expressing such perverted thoughts... an example of which I present to you below...

John Jamerson: Fuk you, John Gates, John Doe, Lying Lester, The Mooches dog, I our dog, and the ass you rode in on. (4/25/2014 at 11:02 AM)

Apparently John Jamerson wishes to not only sex me up, but John Gates (I THINK he means Henry Louis Gates), John Doe (or maybe he means John Dough? Although he's dead), me again, and then the Obama family dog Bo, his own dog and finally an ass.

Now, I'm pretty sure that the humans that Mr. Jamerson expressed interest in having sexual intercourse with would all decline. I know I most certainly do. As for the animals, given that animals are unable to give consent, any sexual activity involving either of the canines Mr. Jamerson mentions as well as the ass would technically be animal rape, I think.

Lying Lester is no lover of animals and does not believe that animals should have the same rights as humans (or rights anywhere near those that humans have), but having sex with animals is just WRONG. I won't add an "in my opinion" to that either, but instead simply state it unequivocally. I very seriously doubt that Mr. Jamerson would have the balls to even attempt to rape the Obama's dog, but certainly he could rape his own dog.

In fact, I'd be willing to bet a large amount of money that Mr. Jamerson rapes his dog regularly. Normally I'd say that whatever someone does within the privacy of their own home is their own business, and that sex between two consenting parties is none of the government's business, but perhaps the local police (local to wherever Mr. Jamerson lives) should look into his violation of the law... although (surprisingly) in some of our US states sex with animals is completely legal (to the shock of Lying Lester).

Apparently there is no federal law prohibiting zoophilia, but, while Lying Lester is normally against the passage of MORE federal laws, in this case I think I might be supportive. Then, even if the pervert John Jamerson lives in a state where his sick perversion is legal, we should still be able to lock him up for the protection of all animals.

I mean, I've never ridden an ass anywhere, nor do I own one... but I'd surely want Mr. Jamerson to suffer the maximum penalty if I did own one and Mr. Jamerson raped it. Obviously he'd be in some kind of trouble if he had sex with my ass without my consent (he'd at least be able to be prosecuted for trespassing on my property), but how much jail time would he get?

Make animal rape a felony in all states, I say. Not that it would matter in the case of my (hypothetical) ass, I suppose, as if Mr. Jamerson trespassed on my property to rape my ass he'd be dead, as I would blow his head off shortly after he set foot on my property.

But Lying Lester believes that animals belonging to people who don't own guns should also be protected from degenerates like John Jamerson. However, seeing as Lying Lester is of the strong opinion that pets are property, perhaps is should be legal for Mr. Jamerson to have sex with his own dog?

We wouldn't want to add to an already over-crowded prison system for something as frivolous as bestiality, would we? On this point Lying Lester is unsure, although he leans toward the position of greater liberty (as always), which is that, although Lying Lester is personally sickened thinking about it, he still believes that Mr. Jamerson should be able to "fuk" his property (in this case a dog).

I not sure on that point, however, and would be open to any of my readers who might have an argument regarding why a Libertarian such as myself could get behind anti-bestality laws. Because, while an animal cannot consent to sex with a human, it also cannot (nor would it) consent to being killed and eaten, but most people don't worry about that.

OK, so, while it churns Lying Lester's stomach, I'm going to have to come down on the "support" side of John Jamerson having sex with his own dog. If that is what the degenerate truly desires, the government should stay out of his business. But if Mr. Jamerson rapes anyone else's property (pet or domesticated animal), then I think he should have the book thrown at him.

Byline: This incomparable commentary was authored by Lord Lying Lester: Man of Reason (AKA Lester Nation). Purveyor of decency. LLIN-034.