Friday, May 6, 2016

Message To Bernie Sanders: I Hate Your Mother-Fucking Socialist Guts!

Does Bernie Sanders read this blog? I doubt it. If he does, however, I'd like to take this opportunity to let him know that I hate his mother-fucking Socialist guts with the intensity of the sun going supernova, expanding and engulfing our planet, burning the universe and vaporizing the earth!! (an explosion that would be roughly the equivalent of a few octillion nuclear warheads going off).

Frankly, I doubt I've ever felt this intensely regarding any human being who has ever lived. Which means that I hate Bernie more than I hate Abraham Lincoln, the most evil man who ever lived (right up there with Stalin and Mao).

The problem with Sanders isn't that he's evil (which he is) but that he's incredibly stupid. He's so stupid that he belongs in a group home for the mentally impaired. A place where the minders need to wipe the drool from the chins of the mouth-breathers.

My hatred for Sanders is also significantly stronger than any love I've ever felt for any human being as well. Although, as a Libertarian I can honestly say that there has never been anyone I've felt has earned my love, so that's a low bar that really isn't worth mentioning.

Yes, regarding Sanders I previously said "the American Eagle needs BOTH of its wings to fly", but I've changed my mind bigley on this. I still believe that the eagle needs two wings, but now I'm more convinced than ever that Sanders is simply too far Left. The dude is a fucking Socialist, for christ!

Now? I'm thinking that one of the eagle wings should be Right-wing and the other should be centrist. Honestly, I don't know what the fuck was going through my mind when I wrote that, given the fact that only the dumbest people on the plant subscribe to Socialist idiocy.

Which is why the idea of Bernie Sanders as president scares me shitless. Because he'd likely start rounding up the rich folks who voice (justified) anger regarding his massive tax hikes. And shoot a few of them in the head to make examples of them.

If I'm completely honest, I think that if Sanders were elected president, I'd seriously consider moving out of the country. Because Sanders (according to his own rhetoric) would do his damndest to utterly destroy our democratic republic. And for that, yes, I absolutely hate his fucking guts. The asshole should have defected to the USSR when he traveled there for his honeymoon!

Byline: This outraged commentary was authored by Willis "I Love Strawmen" Hart. Purveyor of unfacts. LLIN-237.

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