Bernie Sanders Is Functionally Retarded

Yes, folks, this is sad but true. The dimwit should be living in some group home for mentally challenged persons. As opposed to being a senator running for Congress. And what are the odds of that dullard and Leftist lapdog John Oliver ever doing a 22 minute diatribe on the danger of a Sanders presidency (as he did against Trump)? Zero is probably low-balling it in that this ass is a total partisan hack who only denigrates Republicans (not that the clapping seals are complaining, mind you). I could be wrong but I doubt it.

It isn't like I've seen any educational transcripts or test results that show Sanders is retarded, by the way. But the fact that he doesn't comb his hair is enough physical proof I think. I'm surprised the guy doesn't need a minder to wipe the drool from his chin, for Christ!

Don't think I've forgotten the non-physical proof, BTW. Which would be the fact that he's an economically illiterate socialist for Christ, in that he doesn't subscribe to Libertarian/Austrian economics. And he wants to hold guns to the heads of successful people in order to confiscate their property, which makes my blood boil! Sure, a law raising taxes would be enough to get the job done, but Sanders STILL wants to threaten people with guns!

Proof this maniac should be unacceptable to Liberals. Yeah, he's got like a D- from the NRA, but he really wants to shoot some rich people in the head if they don't want to pay. To make an example of them, I'm guessing. So who is the REAL fascist? Yeah, if my choices were Sanders or Trump, I'd take Trump.

As for John Oliver? I say we deport his ass back to England. And a president Trump might just do that. Even though Oliver is White. Or he might sue him. Remember Trump said he wanted to change the libel laws so that he could sue and get a lot of money? Sure, that would be a violation of the first amendment, I think. But I'd still laugh my ass off if the liberal buffoon Oliver lost his shirt after being sued by president Trump!

Byline: This commentary was authored by Willis "I Love Strawmen" Hart. Purveyor of unfacts. LLIN-211.