Saturday, June 14, 2014

The Handsome Debonair Goateed POTUS

Some time back a commenter on my other blog (rAtional nAtion uSA) remarked that "you can't trust a man with facial hair". This comment was in reply to a post concerning former Republican president Rutherford B. Hayes.

The commenter then added, "seriously, though as beards and mustaches and facial hair in general has gone out of fashion except amongst counter-culture, when do you think we'll get a President with facial hair again?"

My reply? I said, "I couldn't possibly guess... When I run maybe!" The commenter then commented that he would vote for me. In response to that I added "Well then, I'll be needing a campaign manager. Any interest?"

That was back in 2012. Lying Lester is still considering a run for the presidency. That is, if Gary Johnson does not throw his hat in the ring (a third time). Perhaps Gary would consider Lying Lester as a running mate in 2016? Surely a Johnson/Nation ticket would garner a fair percentage of the vote (more than Gary running with someone else), but would it be enough for us to take the White House?

A deluded Lying Lester is thinking it just might. Surely the ladies would swoon and cast their ballots in favor of Lying Lester, if for no other reason than to get a hunk in the executive mansion (we all know the ladies act on eMotion and not reason).

And Lying Lester admits that Gary isn't that shabby in the looks department either (a manly Man that Lying Lester might go for *IF* he were gay). The most handsome/manly duo of Iron Men - if Gary Johnson and Lying Lester ran together - ever to seek the presidency. Can you think of any other past presidents and VPs as handsome/manly as Gary and Lester? I doubt it.

Then, after Gary served out his two terms... then the time would be right for a Lying Lester presidency. At that point - after the most successful presidency in US history (that of Gary Johnson) - Lying Lester would be a shoe-in.

A Man can dream, can't he? A dream for his beloved Gary Johnson, for himself, and for America. Or for the worthy Makers, who would prosper wildly under a Johnson (and then a Nation) administration. Realistically speaking, however, a vote for Gary or me is a complete waste (you'd be throwing your vote away). Still, I urge you to consider casting such a vote.

And, if the names "Gary Johnson" and/or "Lester Nation" aren't on your ballot when you go to the polls in 2016? Then you might consider writing us in. Or vote Gary if he's on the ballot and write in "Lester Nation" for VP. Or write in "Lester Nation" for President if Gary Johnson decides not to run.

If nothing else, you'll be sending a signal to the man that you're sick of business as usual and REJECT the sTatist direction our country has been headed in under BOTH rEpublicans and dEmocrats. Also, who knows? If enough people cast their ballots using objectivity and reason to decide who they think should be POTUS - instead of voting for the lesser of two evils... well, then it is surely possible that, come 2017, we might be inaugurating a handsome debonair goateed POTUS. Or a a handsome debonair goateed VP.

Unlikely, perhaps. But (in my deluded and slightly senile mind) it could happen. And then we could get about the work of restoring America to its former glory. Lying Lester imagines something along the lines of a new Gilded Age, except instead of growing real wages for wOrkers, all the prosperity could be siphoned off by those at the top (as they have been doing, only under Lying Lester the siphoning would be greater).

That is my dream, in any case. Perhaps you share it? If so... well then, you already know what to do. Don't vote rEpublican and don't vote dEmocrat. Vote Libertarian. Vote Gary and vote Lester and together we can shrink gOvernment and hand over the rule of our nation to the wealthy (put things right, in other words).

Byline: This spectulative commentary was authored by Lord Lying Lester: Man of Reason (AKA Lester Nation). Purveyor of goat tees. LLIN-086.


  1. Well your Your Handsome, Debonair Goat of a President wants to put our troops in harms way AGAIN!

    And for what? We have a cesspool of savages that will never make peace with each other so why should we rick the lives of Americans? I just wish they would all kill each other off. and be done with it.

    Screw them all. ..they wanted us out...we shouldnt have been there in the first place..Isn't that what you people what ALL said when bush when in. office!!!

  2. I agree with the Radical Racist. bush never should have lied about WMD that Iraq didn't have or illegally invade and "rick" the lives of American soldiers. I was opposed when bush got us in and I'm still opposed. We need to stay out of their affairs. I'd like to note, however, that I do NOT agree with Radical Racist's desire to see the people he hates all "kill each other off". I hope things work out for them. But it's pretty clear, I think, that we can't help them.

  3. We have a president that is considered by many to be the smartest President in history. Since all of his previous life is still a mystery we are expected to take that at face value.

    Very little matters to the narcissist in chief. The constitution is a burden, doing what is best for the majority of Americans goes against his goals, uniting the country is not in his best interest.

    Why would anyone expect him to quote facts after all he visited all 57 states during his campaign.

  4. Concerning Obama's comment re Rutherford B. Hayes. It would have been labeled Another miscue that if either Palin or Bachmann had uttered it...