On The Fact That Donald Trump (Or Whoever The Republicans Nominate) Will Likely Be Our Next President (And Hillary Clinton Will Get Prison Time)

Have you heard that Hillary Clinton's lead over Bernie Sanders in New York seems to be shrinking? It's obviously not good news for Mrs. Clinton but if I was her I'd probably be a shitload more concerned about the Justice Department and FBI primaries than the New York one. Because if Miss Hillary loses those two everything else is purely academic.

And I absolutely believe she will. Be indicted and sent up the river, that is. Or I pray she is. I mean, how awesome would that be? Finally, an end to Miss Hillary's life of crime. It's about time, I say. Unfortunately she'll likely only get a few years, instead of the rest of her life. Which she should receive, given the many decades of criminal activity she's been involved in.

Some people say she murdered Vince Foster. Now, I don't know if there is anything to that charge, but I absolutely do think she's guilty of enough other crimes that she should be locked up and the key should be thrown away. Although, yeah, I surely do believe she's capable of murder.

By the way, that means that Comrade Sanders will likely be the Democratic nominee. And be crushed by whoever the Republicans nominate. Which, given the fact that he's won the most votes, should be Donald Trump. But there might be a "brokered convention" and the nomination might be stolen from Mr. Trump. I just hope the nominee isn't Ted Cruz. I'd be content with Trump or Kasich.

Not that I'd vote for either of these guys (I'm a Johnson man). But any Republican would be better than the pantsuit-wearing piece of shit bitch Hillary or the economically illiterate mouth-breathing moron Sanders. We're talking a "lesser of two evils" situation. But Trump or Kasich (not Cruz) would be significantly the lesser of two evils, of that I am 99.9 percent convinced.

But back to Miss Hillary... how many years behind bars do you think she'll get? I hear that Petraeus got 2 years of probation and a 100k fine. Given the fact that what Miss Hillary did was 100 times worse, I says she should get 100 years in prison and a 10 million dollar fine.

Byline: This 100 percent accurate commentary was authored by Willis "I Love Strawmen" Hart. Purveyor of unfacts. LLIN-221.