On The Alarming Fact That The Population Of The World Is Only 7 Million Due To Shark Attacks!

According to Jeffrey Masson (a nutritionist and dude who looks into stuff), only about 100 folks were killed by sharks in 2016. In a world with 7,000,000 people that makes the odds about as close to zilch as you can get. Of course the much more alarming stat is the fact that our population used to be 7,400,000,000! Which means that 7,393,000,000 people were killed/eaten by sharks in 2015!

Yeah, I'd call this a new holocaust and quite possibly the end of the human race! Sure, we kill about 100,000,000 sharks every year (and for the most part gruesomely; cutting off the fin and having them bleed to death). But the sharks are clearly winning the shark/human war. Which leaves me to ponder who the real beasts are? Obviously the answer is sharks. And ONLY 100 million? I think we humans need to step it up and totally exterminate these fuckers before they exterminate us!

Byline: This commentary was authored by Willis "I Love Strawmen" Hart. Purveyor of unfacts. LLIN-203.

On The Fact That The Black Folks Of 1861 Winchester Virginia Loved Slavery So Much They Voted To Secede From The Union To Continue It!

I bet you didn't know that it's a fact that in 1861 (according to historian, Jonathan Noyalas, and the official Virginia county vote) Winchester Virginia voted 81% in favor of seceding from the Union. The most telling statistic of all is that nearly half of the black population there was free. I wonder how those folks voted?

And, yes, I do have an anecdote here. According to Roger Delauter's book, Winchester in the Civil War, it's a fact that an African-American women wearing a black crepe rosette badge in honor of Stonewall Jackson (who had recently died) was ordered by Union Forces to remove the badge and when she refused was banished from the town. People (whether they be Iraqis, Filipinos, or folks from the South) don't like being occupied apparently.

What this shows IMO is that Black people preferred living in bondage. In fact I bet that the half of the Black population that was free wished that they weren't. Due to the fact that many porch monkeys are so lazy. Hard to believe that they're also incredibly violent, given the fact that one could consider it hard work being so violent.

And, even if they didn't wish they were still slaves, these free blacks were obviously opposed to the other 50% of blacks who weren't free being freed. Because, if they had been in favor of freeing their enslaved brethren, they wouldn't have voted to secede, would they?

I should note, for the record, that probably none of these free blacks voted, given the fact that, according to Encyclopedia Virginia, "by the beginning of the eighteenth century... slavery had become more ensconced in Virginia and was defined almost entirely in racial terms [and] new laws restricted slaves' access to freedom and free blacks' ability to vote or hold positions of power".

None-the-less I'm going to imagine that these free blacks DID VOTE, and they said HELL YES, we want to continue slavery for those of us who are currently enslaved. Why? Because it fits my narrative (also, I assumed/guessed they were able to vote when I wrote this commentary, and didn't actually look it up until AFTER it was complete. Now I wish I hadn't, because if I hadn't, or at least not mentioned that I had, perhaps someone reading this might be fooled into thinking the VA darkies did love slavery? I mean, the fact that some Africoon American woman wanted to honor Stonewall Jackson lends credence to this assertion, no matter how absurd it might sound at first blush, no?).

Byline: This commentary was authored by Willis "I Love Strawmen" Hart. Purveyor of unfacts. LLIN-202.

On The Fact That All Politicians Are Phony. Except For Gary Johnson

Ted Cruz claims to be some sort of Evangelical Christian, but the fact is that he gave less than 1% of his income to tithing and then lied it to CBN's David Brody (giving him some bogus excuse). Regarding these facts, I'd like to say that I'm surprised by this but I'm SOOOOOOO not (a realization that all politicians are phony deep down).

Except for Gary Johnson, who is the real deal. With Gary Johnson (unlike any other politician living) what you see is what you get. He's probably the most honest politician who ever lived, imho. Hell, he might even be the most honest human who has ever lived! Not to mention the fact that he isn't that bad looking. Not that I'd go gay for Johnson, unlike the former proprietor.

Fact is, Johnson would probably have to murder somebody for me to not vote for him again. Although it would depend on who he murdered. If it was someone like wd, for example, then I'd give him a pass. And, if it was wd himself? Then I'd suggest we give Johnson a tickertape parade!

Byline: This commentary was authored by Willis "I Love Strawmen" Hart. Purveyor of unfacts. LLIN-201.

Does That Fucker Bernie Sanders Think He's A Wizard?

Did you know that Bernie Sanders has a "plan" to take $5k from middle-class taxpayers and use powerful magics to turn it into $10k worth of health insurance coverage? Yeah, it's ludicrous and I think he might be a senile old man who has watched the Lord Of The Rings movies too many times and thinks he's a Gandalf-like wizard. How many times did he roll his 20-sided die when devising his healthcare plan, I wonder?

Yet there are some informed voters out there who buy it. Voters who know that all the OECD countries (including the ones that are classified as low-income) have some kind of health care for all. And they also know that health care costs in those countries are much lower than here in the US (US per capita spending for healthcare is $4,631, compared with an OECD median of $1,983).

However, as a Libertarian I believe that it was government interference that created this whole mess of out-of-control healthcare costs; the wage-controls of the 1940s which created the incentive for employers to offer health insurance to their employees as a substitute for raises (an act that really got the ball rolling on this whole idiotic third-party payer bullshit).

Sure, even if any of that is true there is nothing we can do about it now. Misinformed morons such as myself can continue to dream the Libertarian fantasy in which the (imaginary) "free market" drives prices down so low that upper middle class and wealthy folks can afford to pay for their health care needs out of pocket (those in lower classes can drop dead for all I care).

Meanwhile, more rational folks (those people residing in the REAL world) realize that following the lead of all the other OECD countries (who have PROVEN this can be done) is the way to go. ALthough I am NOT such a person, so excuse me if I dismiss out-of-hand this inarticulate socialist buffoon who thinks that HIS intervention is going to rectify things. Trust me, it won't. By which I mean it COULD. But going to a not-for-profit system will devastate the profits of Big Health Care.

However, in the opinion of someone who loves our wealthy overlords, doing health care for NO PROFIT (for christ!) is quite stupid. Do we really want to live in a world where a select few can't get uber-wealthy at the expense of a large number of losers (who must die for this to occur)? I know I sure as hell don't!

Byline: This commentary was authored by Willis "I Love Strawmen" Hart. Purveyor of Libertarian magic. LLIN-200.

Were The Blacks Better Off Without Civil Rights?

According to Charles Murray's seminal book, "Losing Ground", from the late 1860s to the late 1950s, the black labor force participation rate was actually slightly higher than that of Whites. That, and the black family largely stayed intact.

And what happened again in the 1960s? Anybody? Yeah, the Blacks continued agitating for civil rights! And they were also granted freebies under LBJ's so-called "Great Society". If neither of these things had happened I think the US would be a better place. Blacks would know their place and they wouldn't have learned they can loaf and expect free stuff from those of us who work hard (mainly White people like myself).

Byline: This commentary was authored by Willis "I Love Strawmen" Hart. Purveyor of unfacts. LLIN-199.

FDR corksucker censored version

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On the Fact That That C0cksucker FDR Campaigned (in 1932) As A Grover Cleveland/Al Smith Democrat & Quickly Did A 180 Once Elected

It is without a doubt one of the most blatant political bait-and-switch episodes in modern history (the Roosevelt campaign even going as far as to say that Hoover was leading the country down the road to socialism).

And Bernie Sanders (the fuck!ng a$shole) would obviously LOVE to be the next FDR, for christ! Yeah, he'd likely be unable to give away as much other people's money as he'd like (Congressional Democrats, not to mention Republicans, would stop him). But should we give him the chance?

I say no. As I mentioned in my previous commentary, the world's richest 62 people now have as much wealth as the other half of world's population. That's half of 7.4 Billion people! Which means that 62 awesome rich people have as much wealth as 3.7 Billion pathetic Poors.

By the way (in regards to FDR), as you recall he was elected 4 freaking times, so the people obviously loved his democratic Socialist policies. But we're too far down the road to oligarchy for that to happen again. Or I pray to god we are, at least (by which I mean I pray to Rockefeller).

Yes, it's true that FDR's presidency set up an era of prosperity for all that lasted until Ronald Reagan was elected. It was "morning in America", and the nation's wealthy makers rejoiced.

Since that time the Democratic Party went corporate (with WJC declaring himself a "New Democrat" and champion of the "3rd way") and our journey toward oligarchy and the crushing into oblivion of the middle class continues. Yes, this process would likely continue under a president HRC, just as it has under Obama. But a president Sanders? I think that c0cksucker might just reverse course. Which would be unthinkable.

Me, I'm voting for Gary Johnson because under a Johnson administration the accelerator would be pushed down to the floor and we'd speed along at an even faster rate down the road to plutocracy. Because who wants prosperity for all? People who work hard shouldn't be able to get ahead, should they? Not if the work they're doing is manual low-skilled labor, they shouldn't.

First, these kind of chimpanzee jobs should be shipped out to 3rd world shitholes and done by brown and yellow people. Secondly, those jobs that aren't shipped out should be done by Blacks here. Think about it. We've got a lot of unemployed Black youths... why not get rid of the minimum wage so employers will hire them?

I mean, OBVIOUSLY the labor of these Black youths isn't worth as much as that of a White worker. They might not work for $0 an hour (unless the jobs were called internships and employers convinced them they could get higher paying jobs after working for nothing for awhile to gain experience) but that doesn't mean these Black youths couldn't be convinced to work for very close to $0 an hour. I say yet's try it and see how low they'll go.

And, with all tariffs abolished and the minimum wage gone more money can flow to the top. As opposed to workers and the Middle class. In my opinion we need to get SERIOUS about increasing income inequality. Super serious. Which is why I don't consider myself a Democrat or a Republican. 62 people having as much wealth as 3.7 billion is a good start, but I KNOW we can do better!

Byline: This awesome commentary was authored by Willis "I Love Strawmen" Hart. Purveyor of profanity. Published on 2/1/16 10:41 AM. LLIN-198.