Friday, February 26, 2016

On The Alarming Fact That The Population Of The World Is Only 7 Million Due To Shark Attacks!

According to Jeffrey Masson (a nutritionist and dude who looks into stuff), only about 100 folks were killed by sharks in 2016. In a world with 7,000,000 people that makes the odds about as close to zilch as you can get. Of course the much more alarming stat is the fact that our population used to be 7,400,000,000! Which means that 7,393,000,000 people were killed/eaten by sharks in 2015!

Yeah, I'd call this a new holocaust and quite possibly the end of the human race! Sure, we kill about 100,000,000 sharks every year (and for the most part gruesomely; cutting off the fin and having them bleed to death). But the sharks are clearly winning the shark/human war. Which leaves me to ponder who the real beasts are? Obviously the answer is sharks. And ONLY 100 million? I think we humans need to step it up and totally exterminate these fuckers before they exterminate us!

Byline: This commentary was authored by Willis "I Love Strawmen" Hart. Purveyor of unfacts. LLIN-203.

1 comment:

  1. You are so cleaver HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA