Lying Lester recently read on another blog - with some amusement - scurrilous speculation that he might be gay. Why? Presumably because these people read my latest commentary on Gary Johnson.
A commentary in which I express my admiration for the 2012 Libertarian presidential candidate Gary Johnson (and hopefully the 2016 one as well). Lying Lester wonders if these people are such homophobes that they immediately jump to the conclusion that a Man who admires another Man for his sane economic ideas is "gay".
It is utterly ridiculous, of course. No matter that I also expressed some admiration for Gary's physique. He is an older man in exceptional condition, after all. One would have to be blind not to notice how buff and handsome Mr. Johnson is. Whether the person noticing is a woman OR a man.
But these homophobes can't help but bash Lying Lester for his perceived "gayness", even when the exact opposite is true. Which is that Lying Lester is a Man's man and is only attracted to women. And has bedded literally hundreds of females.
Hundreds of women and zero men. Except for the one time. But that does not count because Lying Lester did not enjoy it. Much. But he tried it. Why? Didn't your mother always tell you that you can't know if you dislike something unless you try it? Lying Lester's mother did the same thing. Told him he should try something before he decided whether or not he liked it, that is. And Lying Lester respects his mother and does as she asks.
So Lying Lester, NOT being a homophobe did (try it). But just the one time. And he ultimately concluded that sex with women is much more enjoyable. For him, at least. Although Lying Lester might be willing to try sex with a man a second time *if* it were Gary Johnson who was the one doing the propositioning.
I say *might* because I know there is no possibility of this happening. At all. Which is OK with me. Especially given that I'm 100 percent straight. So I sometimes fantasize about making (another) exception for the dreamy Gary Johnson? So what? I am sure there are hundreds if not thousands of other straight guys who would make the same exception.
Other Libertarians like myself, for example. Libertarians who are attracted to Gary's sane fiscal policies of not over-taxing the wealthy, as well as his sane policies of not giving a shit about what goes on in other countries.
I mean poverty. Hell, I don't give a shit about that happening in our own country. But if they're saying mOhamed is cool in a majority-Muslim country? Then I say bomb them. But other than that we should stay out of their business.
But that is off the topic of accusations of Lying Lester being "gay", which he is not. I mean, if a Man has had sex with close to a thousand women and only one man - and that was in the past and he's (probably) never going to do it again (unless Gary Johnson offered) - then I say such an individual is definitely not gay.
But, hell, if homophobes want to spin my admiration for this outstanding Man into me being "gay"? Well, all Lying Lester has to say about that is that he simply does not give a shit what others might think.
He knows - given the number of women who have JUMPED at the chance to have sex with him, and how satisfied Lying Lester has left them - that he is not at all gay. Just a HUGE admirer of Gary Johnson. And all that shows is what good taste he has.
Byline: This excellent and 100-percent-not-gay commentary was authored by Lord Lying Lester: Man of Reason (AKA Lester Nation). Purveyor of Untruth... and an EXTREMELY Manly ladies' Man. LLIN-113.
