Bernie Sanders Is A Socialist For Christ! Also a Fucking Moron

Did you know that the Heritage Foundation and Wall Street Journal Rank Denmark (Switzerland and Canada, too) ahead of the United States on their Index of Economic Freedom? That fucking cocksucker Bernie Sanders doesn't know that, obviously. This is the coward who didn't have the guts to say that all fucking lives matter during the Democratic debate.

Denmark, Switzerland and Canada are countries that have universal healthcare and where the ratio of CEO/worker pay is dramatically lesser. They also have significantly higher minimum wages. In the US our lowest paid workers earn $7.25 an hour. However, in Canada they earn $12.50 per hour, in Switzerland 14-28, and in Denmark 21. No doubt Bernie wants to emulate them in that regard.

However, while those countries have high individual tax rates, they also have much less regulation (making it much easier to start and manage a company) and a lower corporate tax rate. On that front I bet that Bernie would strongly disagree with Denmark, Switzerland and Canada. I feel it in my gut that Bernie wants to bring even MORE profit-lowering regulations to the US... in order to slightly lower profits for big businesses. Bernie knows that close to 1/3rd of new jobs are being created by big businesses, and he wants to eliminate their ability to hire people for slave wages. Because he hates wealthy employers so much.

This is why scoundrels like Sanders want the minimum wage to be so high. These socialist dumbshits want businesses to be forced to fire people simply because they can't afford to pay them a living wage (Outrageous!). Bernie Sanders is a socialist moron! Yes, in Denmark, Switzerland and Canada the minimum wage is a lot higher, but we can't have a high minimum wage in the United States because the US-based plutocrats demand it!

Maybe if our government were to cut them some slack in the regulation department they'd be open to a higher minimum wage? Absolutely not. The US plutocrats desire both deregulation and low low wages. This is because the US is exceptional. Our plutocrats are exception and deserve to be treated thusly.

Byline: This awesome commentary was authored by Willis "I Love Strawmen" Hart. Purveyor of bowing down to our oligarchs. LLIN-195.

Egghead Nation

I've heard that Bernie Sanders wants to bail out folks who've racked up tens of thousands of dollars in student loan debt acquiring a college degree. When will these socialist eggheads finally realize that investing in our intellectual infrastructure yields high dividends, in that people who graduate from college go on to higher paying jobs, and thus pay a lot more in taxes over their lifetime. I've heard that for every dollar invested, the government gets back seven dollars.

Sounds like a great deal, right? Think again. Does this country need more ivory tower liberal eggheads running around making the rest of us feel inferior? Seriously, what we need are more uneducated working class joes. Why? Because an oversupply of low wage labor will drive the cost of said labor even lower! Which is what the plutocrats want.

Think about it. While I admit I'm a big advocate of job-killing free trade, another option would be to drive down wages for working class folks to what they pay in 3rd world hellholes. Then, instead of shipping our jobs overseas, the plutocrats could pay Americans extremely low wages. And not have to ship the manufactured goods back here to the US. If you want your jobs back, American workers, I say you need to work for a lot less.

Yet we've got Democrat socialists like Bernie Sanders wanting to pay workers a living wage of $15 bucks an hour? Why not $500 an hour I say. Seriously, why is nobody is suggesting this? Perhaps because it's a total strawman? I mean, if increasing the minimum wage to any ridiculously high amount has no discernible negative effect on employment, why be so skinflint? Let's go for it.

On the other hand, if we want to bring jobs back to America, we could stop educating our kids all together. Bring in the docs and lawyers from foreign countries and let American born workers fight for incredibly crappy and extremely low paying jobs. Then the plutocrats won't be forced to go overseas to hire desperate people willing to work for pennies a day.

Because American workers will be desperate enough to work for pennies a day. And America will become a 3rd world hellhole. While the plutocrats retreat to their gated communities protected by hired security. I don't know about you, but it sounds like a decent plan to me.

Frankly I think it's past time we stop subsidizing college tuitions, as doing so only makes matters worse, in that it only enhances our intellectual infrastructure and pays the taxpayer back seven-fold. Good at first blush, but it takes away individuals from the low-wage pool, thus costing business owners more in higher wages. Would it not be better to leave college for the kids of rich people? And, yes, it's a rhetorical question.

Byline: This commentary was authored by Willis "I Love Strawmen" Hart. Purveyor of strawmen. LLIN-181.

On Willis Hart Being Addicted To Getting High Huffing Cato Farts

It is the absolute truth that I haven't smoked pot in 30 years, but that doesn't mean I still don't like getting wasted out of my gourd. Nowadays I like to get high huffing Cato farts.

Because I consider myself more of a Cato problem solving/policy oriented libertarian than I do a Mises or Rand Institute (while, yes, I have a great amount of respect for people like Yaron Brook and Robert Murphy, I generally prefer the art of the possible to that of the theoretical world) libertarian.

Previously I said what wd fails to realize is that in a true free market economy, guys like Cheney, Gore, Immelt, Lay, Raines, etc would actually have to compete for our business and market share. As the thing stands now, big business and big government are totally in bed together.

From my perspective, the only fool-proof way is to significantly reduce the size of government in that it really doesn't matter who's in charge, corruption is bound to happen. I mean, do you seriously think that corporate America hasn't done swimmingly under Obama; the stimulus (which was a veritable grab-bag for big companies), the bank and car bailouts, the health-care plan, the "green" energy agenda?

Although what I fail to realize is that by reducing the size of government you're disempowering the people (as in "we the people") and empowering the plutocrats. But I'm such a blind stooge that I discount that reality. And I also discount the fact that crony capitalism could be controlled if we cut off the bribe money. By which I mean we make it impossible for the plutocrats to pay our elected officials to do their bidding.

But how?, you ask. Public financing of elections and campaign finance reform. Elect a Democratic president. Then that president appoints the next Supreme Court justices that need appointing. Then they overturn Citizens United. Then we can finally get money out of politics and get our politicians back to doing the will of the people.

But my brain is so addled from all those Cato farts I've been huffing that I'm convinced doing things the way the Koch brothers want them done is the only way to stop the crony capitalism (note: Cato was founded as the Charles Koch Foundation in 1974 by Ed Crane, Murray Rothbard, and Charles Koch, chairman of the board and chief executive officer of the conglomerate Koch Industries. In July 1976, the name was changed to the Cato Institute).

Of course if the plutocrats don't have to bribe our representatives they will be able to rule without government as an intermediately. And they'll no longer have to worry about the honest politicians who can't be bribed (Senator Bernie Sanders, for example... although he's a Socialist for christ!). And even those who are bribe-able won't have to put on a show and at least attempt to make it look like they're acting in the interest of the voters by passing some legislation the voters want once in a while.

So The People would be TOTALLY screwed if we shrank government down to the size so it could be drowned in the bathtub (as Grover Norquist once said). But this is the problem that Cato wants to solve. The problem of The People having any power at all. As well as the problem of the plutocrats having to bribe our representatives to get what they want.

The plutocrats should be able to do as they please and not have anyone say NO or have to bribe anyone, shouldn't they? I do love our plutocrats... but I'm so hopped up on Cato BS I'm not sure if giving them ALL the power is the right thing to do. Anyway, devouring Cato bullshit is also something I absolutely LOVE. That would be in addition to the huffing of their farts.

Byline: This commentary was authored by Willis "I Love Strawmen" Hart. Purveyor of huffing farts and devouring bullshit. LLIN-167.